The Dentist Chair
I did an Energy Audit years ago in the winter on an overcast day in the afternoon. I had arrived late in the afternoon on a day when it started getting dark out around 5pm and this home was down a long gravel driveway into the woods. I was greeted by a man who mentioned that he lived there alone. The audit began like normal with us sitting down at the kitchen table to discuss his energy goals and I explained that I would be looking through all areas of the home for upgrade opportunities. He left me to my inspection and I went to take a look at the HVAC equipment in the basement. I was disconcerted when I found a small room in the basement with a concrete floor, 4 cinder block walls with nothing on the walls and a dentist chair with overhead light shining down on it. Thinking that maybe this person was just a dentist I continued my inspection and opened a small metal hatch to investigate the crawlspace under the kitchen floor. While I was getting my measurements I turned around to see the homeowner silently watching me from the access hole. At that moment the only thought in my head was that this guy was going to shut the door on me and lock me in the crawlspace, instead he just said "So what do you think about the insulation down here, the kitchen floor is always cold." Feeling a little relieved, I gave him my opinion and he left me to my measurements. The rest of that Energy Audit was probably the most efficiently I've ever worked. -Matt
The House in the Woods
I should start by telling you that I believe in ghosts. So all of those old Victorian houses with creepy basements and walk up attics that I’ve been in? Yeah, I think there are ghosts there. I’ve looked back on Attic photos that are full of orbs. Isn't that just dusty insulation you say? No, it’s a ghost. Are you sure that’s not just a speck of some old cellulose floating in the air? Don't be silly. It's a GHOST. --- There’ve been occasions where I’ve seen snake holes through the fiberglass (no snakes in sight, but I had to keep army crawling through it), creepy jumpy bugs in dark and dank crawlspaces, and even something that looked like a living situation in a crawlspace - a sleeping mat and suitcase all dirty and torn up. That honestly freaked me out, and I almost called the police because I thought someone had been taken hostage... But as a female in this industry, possibly one of the scariest things is just being alone with a strange man in a house that’s not yours. Thankfully, there’s really only been one time where I felt truly afraid like that, and I can tell you it was the fastest Energy Audit I've ever done in my life.
As I pulled up to this house in the woods, the first red flag was the house numbers dangling off a tree like a loose tooth. I parked the Atlas van in the driveway and got to filling out my paperwork like I normally did, but this time when I looked up from my clipboard, the homeowner was standing still staring at me through the car window. “Hello!” I said, “I’ll be there in one minute!” .. I don’t think he said a word. I should have made up an excuse to leave right then, and I know now that it would’ve been completely fine to do that, but I proceeded with the appointment anyway. The house was in the woods so there was an axe in the foyer… for cutting trees of course. There was 80s music blasting on the speakers in the house, and cameras throughout. Just real creepy vibes. Similar to Matt’s Dentist Chair story – the homeowner showed up at the crawlspace hatch right as I was climbing out.. to warn me about not “breaking any water pipes.” I was afraid he would trap me in the crawlspace or the attic, and yeah.. I had never been in and out of somewhere so fast. -Shannon
Sounds from Within
My neighbor, a distinguished elderly gentleman, calls me up a few months ago asking how often I have heard noises in my ductwork. I tell him pretty much never. He asks me to come over and listen with him. Now granted, I treat this gentleman like family, but it was 2:00 AM. I go over to his house, the stars greeting me along the way; some of the constellations looking at me like I am a nutcase. I finally get to his house and go in and we spend the next hour listening to various sections of ductwork in his basement. Now, here's the thing...
This man is meticulous about breakers, and having things maintained in his house. For some reason, the lights wouldn't work in the basement. Only the basement! We heard noises, and when we tried to go back upstairs, the door stuck. It's like the basement had us in its belly and didn't want to cough up its two-person meal. Furthermore, his heat pump outside started making groaning noises. I started having flashbacks of "Monster House." We eventually got out, and I promptly carted him, his pills, and his favorite opera (yes he is an opera buff) over to my house for the rest of the night/morning.
I scheduled him for a duct cleaning with ATLAS and ever since, the noises have stopped, the breakers work, the lights are fine in the basement, and the door doesn't stick. Take that Hungry Basement! -Deonne
Atlas Home Energy
